May 1st, 1999. It was a
beautiful day, and I decided
to go sit in my back yard to
get some sun. That morning I
couldn’t have predicted that
my life would be forever
changed. As the weeks
moved forward, I began my
journey of being in and out of
doctors’ offices and becoming
more frustrated and confused
with the medical community.
By July my legs could no
longer hold my body weight, I
had facial paralysis, and a
laundry list of physical
symptoms that didn’t make
sense. I was given numerous
diagnoses, but in the end no
one could explain what was
happening to me. I was 28
years old with what felt like
the body of a 90 year old
and was told by my
“specialist” he didn’t know
what to do with me - I was
overweight, out of shape, and
should seek therapy because
my symptoms were probably
psychological.
This day was life changing for
me because I realized that the
only way I was going to get
Volume 9, Issue 2 Spring 2017
- Promoting healthy relationships and personal growth from a Christian perspective -
Turning a New Leaf
Ways to Help A
Person Struggling
with Chronic Illness:
Learn about the
illness and how it
affects the person.
Tailor activities and
group outings so
friends or family
members can still
participate in the fun.
Be a good listener.
Understand that
chronic illness makes
life unpredictable
and sometimes plans
will be cancelled.
Think simple acts of
kindness—a movie
night, phone call, or
offer of help with
household chores
could dramatically
boost someone’s day!
Living with C h ro nic Illn es s
B y Donna Southard, MA, LCPC, Licensed Mental Health Counselor
world like they want to be
rather than feeling they are a
bystander in their own life,
and living with the memories
of the many things they used
to be able to do, the life they
once had, and the future
dreams now lost. In addition,
many report not feeling safe
to open up about their illness
or how sick they really are.
Sufferers report the need to
pretend they are ok for others
because they make others
uncomfortable. One fighter
stated, “I can feel like I want
to crawl in a hole and die
there, but you’ll never know it.
I can plaster a smile and
choke back the tears, fight
through the day, and you’ll
never see a bit of it. I’ve
been practicing this role of
‘healthy’ for years.” Lastly,
they struggle with guilt –guilt
of not meeting expectations,
not being a good enough
spouse, parent, friend,
employee….
Therefore, if you have a
family member or friend who
is struggling with a chronic
illness, please keep in mind
that you will never be able to
see the true struggle of his or
her illness and that most just
want to feel loved and
supported as an individual,
not just as a sick person. Help
embrace them when they
have good days, and try to
respond on a more positive
note when they have to cancel
plans or are not up to doing
things. Come to them if
possible and work around
their limitations. Be
better was to do my own
research, learn to advocate
for myself, and fight for my
belief that I knew my body
and health better than any-
one. I went on to learn that I
had Lyme Disease. I had
“heard” of Lyme Disease, but
I had no idea what it was
going to mean for my life and
my future. During the next
year my entire body was
attacked by this disease, and
I couldn’t stop it. But to make
matters worse, my life be-
came something I couldn’t
recognize. I was told by
friends that I was probably
over reacting, it must be
something else, or even,
“Wow, that’s bad!” But that is
where it ended. My friends
of years began to quit calling
and ask if I would like to go
out, no one came to visit, and I
went from being very inde-
pendent to feeling helpless
and dependent. My life and
relationships were turned
upside down, and I felt that I
would never be whole again.
I have been fighting to reach
some normalcy now for almost
18 years and have made it
my life’s work to help others
who are also struggling with
chronic illness to face and
accept their challenges, have
an understanding and
listening ear, and learn to
navigate this lonely world we
are pushed in to. Chronic
illness sufferers report feelings
of loneliness, sadness, anger,
and grief. They feel others
view them as lazy or faking
sick and live feeling
abandoned. Most wish more
than anything they had the
energy to be part of the
knowledgeable, have realistic
expectations, and accept that
there is often nothing you can
do to make them feel better.
However, learn to see past
their illness, and enjoy the
friends or family members you
love just as they are. I know I
will never allow my disease to
win, and I will continue to
make the best of the life I’ve
been given.
Page 2
Board of Directors
President
Rev. Joel Sheeres
Vice President
Brian Smith
Treasurer
Michael Reagan
Secretary
Bev Lich
Directors
Bruce Bere, Mary Boonstra, Lisa
Doot-Abinoja, Liz Dorn, Gene
Eenigenburg, Glenn Fiala, Claire
Griffith, Donna Hamstra, Tanya
Harper, LaVerne Jordan
Stated Clerk
Rev. Gerrit Veenstra
Executive Director
Terry Top
Offices
2325-177th Street
Lansing, IL 60438
(708) 895-7310
11035 Broadway, Suite D
Crown Point, IN 46307
(219) 226-1810
5578 W 1100 N
Wheatfield, IN 46394
(219) 270-3395
www.newleafresources.org
Our Mission
New Leaf Resources
promotes healthy
relationships and
personal growth through
counseling, education,
and consultation from
a Christian perspective.
Fostering Safe Independence in Your Teen
By Ashley Elcock, BA and Shelby Manning, BS, Therapist Interns
The transition of children into
adolescents is a trying time
for many parents. Parents
may start asking, “How do I
keep my child safe when
they want so much
independence?”, “How do I
trust my teen to do the right
thing when they are still so
young and inexperienced?”,
“Why is my teen acting so
rebellious!?” Almost every
one of us has gone through
this transition ourselves, so
we get it, our baby is
growing up. However, it
might be relieving to know
that much of this “rebellion”
and boundary pushing that
our adolescent is engaging
in is not only normal, it is
beneficial. When children
have been raised in a
healthy and secure context,
adolescence becomes a time
of additional exploration as
the child starts the transition
into adulthood, both socially
and biologically.
Allowing some of this
exploration will help your
child learn and grow into a
mature adult, both through
their successes and their
mistakes. During this time,
parents can help their child
by practicing “authoritative”
parenting by balancing the
need for rules and consistent
consequences with nurturing,
love and open communication
with their child. Parents may
need to adjust their rules to
better fit their maturing child
but also know the limits in
regards to the safety and
well-being of their child.
Many transitions are
happening for your teen as
well, such as entering
romantic relationships,
experiencing puberty,
making decisions about
extracurricular activities,
making new friends, and
grieving the end to other
relationships not to mention
the pressure of getting
good grades to get into
college! They need your
support. Creating an envi-
ronment in which the ado-
lescent will feel safe talking
to parents about their life
and not feel judged or
receive overwhelming
(sometimes unwanted)
advice is the key to a suc-
cessful transition. Listen to
your adolescents and give
them an appropriate
amount of space to make
their choices. They will be
thankful that you were
there to listen when no one
else would, and this may
open up further communica-
tion, openness, and advice
seeking from your teen.
Both parenting and the
transition to adolescence
are difficult tasks! But with
supportive parents who can
set rules but still connect,
this task becomes easier. Be
compassionate, be kind,
and give yourself credit
during this time!
Tips to Guide Your Teen
* Be very clear with your
teens about what’s appro-
priate, but let them know
that you trust them to respect
these boundaries and give
them space to make these
decisions.
* Be very consistent in the
consequences when rules are
broken.
* Stay in touch with your
teen regarding the rules. This
way you have an idea of
when they might need to be
changed as your child
matures and certain rules are
no longer needed.
* Keep some “family time”
and “one-on-one time” set
apart. Family activities and
time spent together are so
important in increasing
closeness, understanding, and
open communication.
* Try not to make assump-
tions or pass judgment when
your teen is talking to you
about concerns or questions
related to this transition. Be
honest and open. This will
help your teen feel safe to
open up to you.
* Take some time for self-
care. Research has shown that
it is much easier to stay
connected with your child and
sensitive to their needs when
you are not feeling
overwhelmed or stressed.
Client Finds Strength at New Leaf
A
client recently shared
how her experience at
New Leaf Resources has
given her hope, help, and
healing.
“Due to my counseling, I was
able to cope much better with
my painful memories and give
my own family the love and
support they deserved.
Counseling is a real life saver!
Counseling doesn’t erase the
pain, but it helps you to
understand and live with it.
Seeking counseling doesn’t
make you a weak person—
it just shows you that you
are strong enough to face
your pain ‘ head on.’
Page 3
“Counseling
at New Leaf
helped me
get through
the painful
memories.”
substance abuse, identity
exploration, acculturation,
life transitions, work-related
stress, grief, and relational
abuse.
New Leaf also welcomed
new members to its Board of
Directors. Mary Boonstra,
Lisa Doot-Abinoja, Claire
Griffith, and Tanya Harper
will be offering their
couples looking to manage
anxiety or depression,
process trauma and abuse,
increase communication,
improve self esteem, deal
with difficult life transitions,
or develop parenting skills.
Shelby Manning earned her
Bachelor of Science degree
in Human Development and
Family Studies with a minor
in Psychology at the
University of Missouri. She is
working toward her Master
of Science degree in Child
Development and Family
Studies with a specialization
in Marriage and Family
Therapy at Purdue
University Northwest.
Shelby specializes in
relationship dynamics and
individual’s needs. This
includes communication and
conflict management,
parenting difficulties, child
behavior concerns,
depression, anxiety,
What’s “New” at New Leaf Resources
T
here are some new
faces at New Leaf and
we can’t wait for you to
meet them.
New Leaf Resources wel-
comed Ashley Elcock and
Shelby Manning as our new
therapist interns in January.
They are both accepting
new clients.
Ashley Elcock received her
Bachelor of Arts degree in
Pscyhology from Indiana
University Northwest. She is
currently pursuing her
Master of Science in Child
Development and Family
Studies, specializing in
Marriage and Family
therapy at Purdue University
Northwest.
Ashley specializes in working
with couples with various
relationship concerns, such as
infidelity or communication
concerns. She also works
with individuals, families, or
Ashley Elcock (left) and Shelby Manning (right) joined New
Leaf Resources as Therapist Interns in January.
Speakers
Avaiable
N
eed a speaker for
your next group or
church function? New Leaf
therapists are available to
address groups of any size
and age on a variety of
topics such as addictions,
depression, grief, stress,
and many others.
Call Lisa at New Leaf at
(708) 895-7310 for more
information.
expertise and wisdom over
the coming years as they
help guide New Leaf’s
services and mission in their
role as Board members.
New Leaf is so thankful for
the years of service provid-
ed by retiring Board mem-
bers Deb Koster, Dave
Larsen, Carol Moxey, and
Donna DeGraff.
- “Kathy,” age 79
in therapy for
depression and childhood
trauma
Speakers
Available
Non-profit Org.
U.S. POSTAGE
PAID
Lansing, IL
Permit No. 8
2325 - 177th Street
Lansing, IL 60438
www.newleafresources.org
Return Service Requested
New Leaf
Resources is…
A professional mental health
agency which provides
counseling and consultation
services to individuals, families,
couples, children, churches,
schools and businesses.
A ministry which brings the
best possible care to those we
serve, striving to reflect God’s
grace and love to all who seek
help.
A community resource
offering educational services,
prevention programs, training,
support and coaching.
Page 4 Spring 2017
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Mark Your Calendars to Celebrate with Us!
This year, the New Leaf traditional
annual celebration banquet is being
expanded! Mark your calendars with
the following dates!
Thursday, May 4 - a night of great
music by Sam Cerniglia from NBC’s
“The Voice,” delicious desserts, view-
ing of our new video, and a short
presentation in the Grand Lobby of
Trinity Christian College in Palos
Heights, Illinois.
Tuesday, June 13- an informal,
down-home night of BBQ, electric
violin music, viewing of our new vid-
eo, and a short presentation at
Pentwater Barn in Crown Point,
Indiana.
Contributions to New
Leaf Resources can be
made in memory or in
honor of a loved one or
friend. Thank you to the
following donors:
In Memory of
Dora Doot
Judy Doot
